Saturday, April 13, 2013

Things I Learned Watching Spartacus

Allow me to break words.
After four epic seasons, Spartacus has come to a dramatic and heart-wrenching end. I cannot allow a show such as this to fade without proper tribute, so I present things I loved and learned watching Spartacus:

Kids are dicks.

The Gladiator Forearm Slap.

More than a handshake and less that a hug, this move screams Bromance.

Want to have some fun? Try picturing any two women in the series greeting one another like this. Heh.


"I'll take 'Baddest mother-fucker on the planet' for 1000 danari, Alex."

The first word every Roman baby speaks.
Has the magical ability to erase all grievances.
A new song for Oktoberfest! 
Or baptisms and funerals, depending on which side of the family is hosting.

Kids are dicks.

Severed heads send strong messages .
Texting is all caps...doesn't.
(Ashur is totally air-texting here)

If anyone says you'll be properly attended, you're going to die.  

partacus Meets the Matrix

Agron meets Cirque De Solei

Crixus meets an 80's Grunge Band


Part surfer dude, part rock star, all gladiator: this guy lives for wine and women and conditioner. When he's not indulging in those things, he kills men blindfolded and talks like Ozzy.

"It's no easy task, to sever a man's head."

Thanks for the heads-up on that, Crixus.

"I am equal to any man !"
She said it. She proved it. And she's quite possibly the best girlfriend ever.

Kids are dicks.    

The Missio
Gladiator-talk, loosely defined as taking your toys and going home.

"Even if we find her, she won't be the same woman from memory."

Because the original actress was replaced, perhaps? I see what you did there, DeKnight.

No agenda, no political statement, no one batting an eye.
How cool is that?

Gold Masks

Might want to look under those before you get too excited.

There's more, but this post is starting to look like a Tumblr page so I better wrap it up.
Thank you Team Roman and Team Rebel.
You will be missed.